Friday, November 28, 2008

The Christmas Story - Part 1

Gman: This is total bakwaas man. Christmas ain't for us. It's for kids man with santa and all. So why are we here auditioning for this christmas skit man?
Vanny: Shut-up man! I am thinking of getting into Hollywood and this skit is gonna be my first "big break".
Gman: What are you talking about man? Let's go to the mall and check out some hot chicks.
Vanny: It ain't a small thing man, it's Christmas man Christmas.
Gman: but but but.. vanny it's a beautiful night and the girls ain't gonna wait for us. You are breaking ma heart bro.
Vanny: Shut-up man! I just wish we get a part in it. Every character in the story has a very important role to play.
Gman: Like what?
Vanny: Like the sheperds and the angels.
Gman: What about them?
Vanny: You don't know nothing about the sheperds and the angels do you? You buddhu! Listen, sheperds are pretty cool folks and they have like hundreds and hundreds of sheep and they can control all of 'em with a small flute and they have huge muscles.
and the angels, they wear silky robes and they have wings and they can fly anywhere man also they are very pretty.
Gman: Surely, you ain't gonna become anyone of those man you ain't pretty or have huge muscles! but it sounds pretty cool. 
Vanny: Kiss my chaddi man! I ain't gonna say anything to you now.
Gman: Oh man come-on I was just joking. what about the other characters?
Vanny: You better be careful man. You are talking to the next Tom Cruise. Anyway, the story also has 3 wise-men. These guys were like the computer geeks of our times and they were very rich. They could read the stars in the sky and travelled to lands far-far away.
Gman: Wo wo wo!! That's what ma mum wants me to become. smart-rich-and out of her sight. 
Vanny: Do you what it takes to be smart and rich
Gman: No, wha?
Vanny: Brains! you buddhu.
Gman: Oh man! I want to play wise men. Let's play the wise men.
Vanny: Cha! I ain't playing no wise man or the sheperds or the angels.
Gman: What are you talking about man?
Vanny: You see Paddy is playing Mary man so naturally I'll be playing Joseph, you know what I mean. (Wink-wink)
Gman: Oh man! I don't wanna be playing the three wise man all on my own.

To be continued...

Friday, November 21, 2008

Ultimate DVD Collection

GMan: This church is huge man.
Vanny: Yeah! It is.
Gman: It makes you think isn't it.
Vanny: Yes the eternal question - What are we doing here on this planet?
Gman: No! I mean what are we doing in this building?
Vanny: It's Christmas man.
Gman: What do you mean by that?
Vanny: It's a festival. You do know what Christmas is right?
Gman: Kiss my underwear man! I'm not a fool. I know what it is. It like Valentines day.
Vanny: Absolutely right. It's a bit like valentine but instead of a girlfriend you get santa.
Gman: Woh! A festival with an old man with big belly and a long Beard. Wicked!
Vanny: Yeah man that's why we are here, but that isn't why we are actually here you know why we are here on earth, you get it?
Gman: No man.
Vanny: Listen up while I educate you. Our religion is like the re-cycle machine you see, you are created, you do wicked things, you die and then you God checks you and puts you into heaven or hell.
Gman: No man! I didn't get it.
Vanny: You see man, born as an angle means the you are released in a new format.
Gman: Yeah I know what you are talking about. Say like I am like a 12inch Simon and Garfunkel gramophone record right.
Vanny: Absolutely and then God checks your music and if he finds you holy and massive he re-releases you as a CD.
Gman: Woh! But what happens if He doesn't like Simon man?
Vanny: Then you come out as T-Series audio tape with Sonu-Nigam and Anuradha Paudhwal as playback instead of Simon and Garfunkel.
Gman: Eww... man that blows.
Vanny: Yeah!
Gman: So what's heaven man?
Vanny: You see God checks the sounds of all the records ever played and if you are groovy then you are played at the highest possible level man - a DVD-ROM.
Gman: That's cool man, So heaven is like God's Ultimate DVD collection man. Can't wait to get my hands on it.
Vanny: Yeah man and that's the answer to man's eternal quest.

Tuesday, November 18, 2008


If someone prays for patience, does God give him or her patience or the opportunity to be patient?
If someone prays for courage, does God give him or her courage or the opportunity to be courageous?
If someone prays for the family to be close, does God bless him or her with warm fuzzy feelings or does he give him or her the opportunity to love each other?

Evan Almighty

Thursday, November 13, 2008

One Step Closer to Economic Equilibrium

I couldn't have found a better background score for this post. Just play before you read.

Tyler Durden: 3 minutes. This is it, ground zero. Would you like to say anything to mark the occasion?
It's getting exciting now. Two and a half.
Think of everything we've accomplished man.
Out of these windows we will view the collapse of the entire Financial Industry.
One step closer to economic equilibrium.

Arguably capitalism is the best social-economic structure of society that mankind ever developed. Its basic essence being that it is ever changing and evolving but gives no second chance. An arena where cut-throat is good and those who cannot adapt themselves to its ever evolving character are eliminated.

Here we are now - at the brink of an evolutionary breakthrough in the world of capitalism, as we know it. In a span of less that 6 months, the entire Financial Industry, the very soul of capitalism, is on its knees and is begging for help. There is no single victim here, the cataclysmic effect of this downturn has had victims on a global scale. And as the governments of the world put there heads to end the problem it might just be the end unilateralism as well.

The modern model of capitalism has failed along with various other models of communism and of totalitarianism and definitely anarchism has never been a solution to our problems. Why then are we holding on to capitalism?

It's time to move on, it's time to look into the future with fresh perspective, new ideas and a desire to change. We must consider this event as an opportunity to think about a new world and build it on virtues that have, perhaps, long being forgotten - kindness, selflessness, humility, compassion, intelligence and love.

It's time to wipe the slate clean and give everyone a fresh start.