Sunday, June 28, 2009

Michael Jackson was an Alien

NASA and many other space organisations have been looking at the skies above for many years now with an expectation that one day they will be able to communicate with aliens. Well, I've got news for them, for the last 50 years an alien (that's just the one I know, there can be many) was living amongst us. He was singing, dancing and making best sellers. Now, why would I say that? Well, that's the only explaination that fits all that we've seen in MJ over the last 50 years.

Let me start with the numerous Plastic surgeries. Well actually those were not plastic surgeries. In fact those were routine maintenance exercises that are required because he was an alien disguised as a human and the 'human suit machine' needed regular maintenance for wear and tear. Of course he got a new chin, a new nose, a new wig and eyes every time. Those upgrades were not his efforts to look better, those were technological upgrades designed by the aliens, purely keeping the function in mind. May be to our human eyes they were ugly and asymmetrical.

The Color, some say Skin Bleach and some say Vitiligo. Well, the truth is that it was neither. The only simple explanation is that the alien skin is very receptive to the pollution on earth. MJ's skin was becoming paler and paler as the pollution on our planet was increasing. How else would you explain a skin that turns from black to brown to pink and finally into white. (Ok may be it's not pollution, but it's still alien skin.)

The singing, never ever in the history of mankind there has been a singer who has been able to sell millions and millions of copies of CD's by singing in falsettos. I agree that opera singers sing in falsettos but who listens to them? On the contrary, we simply loved MJ's singing! I mean just think of it, if you and I (and by 'you and I',   I mean human males) try singing in falsettos people will laugh. But for MJ, we bought his CD's, cassettes like hypnotised minions. Or may be we were hypnotised.

I heard that Google, Twitter, Facebook, Wikipeida and every major website in this world crashed as the news about Michael Jackson's death spread. I don't think the internet went down because of the overload, instead I think that the aliens were paying a tribute to MJ and wanted the whole world to observe 2 minutes of silence in his memory. And so may be Google was right, it was an attack, of sorts.

I guess, I've made my point. Am I, forgetting something?? OH YEAH!!! The MOONWALK. Need I say more?

Sunday, June 14, 2009

The Love Story

THIS IS THE STORY OF HOW DCAT AND GMAN GOT TOGETHER.

ATTEMPT NO. 1

AT THE CHURCH.

Dcat: Hey Gman!
Gman: What?
Dcat: No, nothing.
Gman: Nothing what?
Dcat: Nothing.. drop it
Gman: ok
Dcat: (to herself) This shouldn't be this hard.

ATTEMPT NO. 2

THE PHONE CALL.

(WHILE DCAT WAS ON THE PHONE PADDY WALKS INTO DCAT'S ROOM AND THIS IS WHAT SHE HEARD.)

Dcat: Hi Gman.
Dcat: I was just thinking about you.
Dcat: No! No! I am not joking
Dcat: Seriously.
Dcat: That'll be wonderful.
Dcat: Ok bye.

Paddy: Wow! girl what's going on with you two?
Dcat: No nothing. What are you talking about?
Paddy: Come on you can't fool me. I heard everything you just said on the phone.
Dcat: Oh no. You've got it completely wrong. This is what happened

Dcat: (dialing no.)
RING RING.
Dcat: Hi Gman.
RING RING
Dcat: I was thinking about you.
RING RING
Dcat: No! No! I am not joking.
HELLO THIS IS GMAN I AM NOT AT HOME RIGHT NOW.
Dcat: Seriously!
ANYWAY MY PHONE HAS A CALLER ID SO YOU DON'T HAVE TO LEAVE YOUR NO. OR A MESSAGE JUST HANG UP AND I'LL CALL YOU BACK.
Dcat: That'll be wonderful.
THANK YOU.
Dcat: Ok bye.

Paddy: Oh!
Dcat: (to Paddy) Why is this so hard.

TO BE CONTINUED...

Monday, June 08, 2009

Look Alike