English speaking

One of my favorite genre of jokes is making a mockery of the English language. Here is a collection:

1. All of you stand in a straight circle.
2. There is no wind in the balloon.
3. The girl with the mirror please comes her. (Means: girl with specs please come here).
4. To a boy , angrily: I talk , he talk , why you middle middle talk?
5. While punishing students:
You , rotate the ground four times.
You , go and understand the tree.
You three of you stand together separately.
Why are you late - say YES or NO .....(?)
6. Inside the Class room:
Open the doors of the window. Let the atmosphere come in.
Open the doors of the window. Let the Air Force come in.
7. Cut an apple into two halves - I will take the bigger half.
8. Shh...Quiet , boys...the principal JUST PASSED AWAY in the corridor
9. You , meet me behind the class. (Meaning AFTER the class.)
10. Both of u three get out of the class.
11. Close the doors of the windows please. I have winter in my nose today.
12. Take Copper Wire of any metal especially of Silver.
13. Take 5 cm wire of any length.

How many do you know?

OK enjoy this English but don't forget your English.