Twist in the Tale

PEOPLE TALK ABOUT YOU IN YOUR ABSENCE. IF THE THINGS THEY SAID ABOUT YOU WERE GOOD THEY WOULD SURELY CONVEY IT TO YOU, TO EARN SOME BROWNIE POINTS. IF THESE PEOPLE ARE MORE THAN ONE, YOU'VE GOT A PROBLEM.

Shasha: Yesterday all of a sudden Rian started talking to me in the bus.
Gman: Really what happened?
Shasha: That guy is such a jerk...

-FLASH BACK-

Rian: Hi Shasha.
Shasha: (Chuckle) Hey Gman where are you hiding?
Rian: It’s me Rian.
Shasha: Oh!! I thought Gman is playing with me again.
Rian: That guy is such a jerk. I am glad he is not your boyfriend.
Shasha: What makes you think like that?

RIAN PICKS UP SHASHA'S BAG FROM THE SEAT NEXT TO HER AND SITS THERE.

Rian: Gman!! You’ve got to be kidding me!
Shasha: He is a great guy and with his underpants over his trousers he looks amazing.
Rian: I was just wondering... are you free this evening?
Shasha: No, I have plans. I have to go home and do nothing.
Rian: I am sure Gman will come too after "saving the world"... ha ha ha...

-FLASH BACK ENDS-

Shasha: ...I got so upset, that I had to leave the bus.
Gman: Rian is such a jerk.
Shasha: I wish you were there Gman. I don't know what I would've done to him that evening. I was so mad.
Gman: Don't worry; you can get back at him anytime.
Shasha: I am never talking to him again.

NOW, THE OTHER SIDE.

Rian: Hey dude! Yesterday I spoke to Shasha in the bus.
Gman: Wow! Really what happened?
Rian: Man! That girl is so cheap...

-FLASH BACK-

Rian: Hi Shasha!
Shasha: (Snort) Hey Gman where are you hiding?
Rian: It’s me Rian.
Shasha: Oh, I thought Gman was annoying me again.
Rian: He is such a great guy.
Shasha: What makes you think like that?

SHASHA PICKS UP HER BAG FROM THE SEAT NEXT TO HER SO THAT RIAN CAN COME AND SIT.

Rian: I thought he was your boy friend?
Shasha: You've got to be kidding me. You think I’d like a guy that wears his underpants over his trousers?
Rian: You should go out with him someday.
Shasha: And bore myself to death.
Rian: He is a great guy.
Shasha: And I am sure he is a "superhero" too... ha ha ha...

-FLASH BACK ENDS-

Rian: ...then her stop came and she left the bus... but I was really mad at her...
Gman: Shasha is so cheap.
Rian: I thought she was a decent girl man. Beware of her man.
Gman: Surely I will and what about you?
Rian: I am never talking to her again.

Bad Cold!

A FEW DAYS AGO BJAM WAS DOWN WITH COLD.

Bjam: Aaa.... chooo...
Gman: Eww... what's the matter with you?
Bjam: I've got bad cold.
Gman: Umm... you mean cold is of two types good and bad?
Bjam: No, I mean I've got cold and now its gone bad.
Gman: Is it evil kind of bad or just bad kind of bad?
Bjam: Just bad kind of bad
Gman: So that's good.
Bjam: What's good?
Gman: Your cold. I mean you've got good cold.
Bjam: When did I say? %&#*!! What?
Gman: Do you have a headache as well?

Way out?

USUALLY WHEN EVER BJAM MEETS GMAN, GMAN HAS TO DROP HER HOME AND EVERY TIME GMAN FORGETS HIS WAY OUT

Gman: Now, how do I get out of this place?
Bjam: Go down and take right after the building.
Gman: Which building?
Bjam: The 3rd Barista in the circle.
Gman: How will I know if its the correct 3rd Barista?
Bjam: There's only one 3rd Barista in that circle and if you see any other third Barista, it will be the wrong third Barista. Got it?
Gman: Look!! is there a way out of this jungle or not?
Bjam: okay, i'll come with you to show you the way out but you'll then have to drop me back here.
Gman: Darn!

Eternity

The actual author of this post is Karisa (http://www.blogger.com/profile/00463642332693746475) . We did a little skit based on this together in a camp a few months ago. The theme of the skit is Eternity.

CAST:
Carissa: A young girl about 6 years of age.
Gau Mau: A teenage young boy, about 12 years of age.
Gman: Gau Mau's twin brother.
Nerd: Another sibling, about 15 years of age.
Dad: Father of the kids.

ITS A TYPICAL AMERICAN FAMILY GOING OUT FOR A PICNIC IN A CAR. THEY'VE BEEN TRAVELING FOR A WHILE NOW

Carissa: Are we there yet?
Carissa: (LOUDER) Are we there yet?
Dad: No, sweetie. It's still a long way.
Carissa: Its taking eternity to get there.
Gau Mau: What's eternity?
Gman: Eternity is like ten thousand years.
Gau Mau: No no, its like the time mom takes to do her make up...
Gman: hmmm.... (WONDERING)
Gau Mau: (continuing)...or may be eternity is as long as grand pa has been alive
Gman: No... its not that... i don't know....
Nerd: You the dictionary says that eternity means a time without an end.
Gau Mau: What ever mr. smarty pants!! pbhttt....

AT THIS POINT DAD (WHO WAS DRIVING THE CAR) SPEAKS TO THE CHILDREN.

Dad: Well. kids I want you to understand this very well. Eternity is not ten thousand years, neither does your mother takes eternal time to put on her make up.
Eternity is way beyond what our minds can fathom. But you know what the good news is - We can choose where we life our eternal life.
Our eternity—where we will spend it—is decided by whether or not we accept the gift of salvation offered by Jesus. If we do, then we are privileged to spend eternity—forever—in the presence of God in Heaven. If we do not, then we are forever apart from God, in Hell.

KIDS ARE IN TREMENDOUS AWE AND THERE IS SILENCE AMONGST THE KIDS


Carissa: Are we there yet?

Happiness is...

In the bright blue sky,
After a rainy day.
In the glittering of stars,
on a dark night.

In trembling sound of waves,
at the ocean shore.
In cool breeze,
of the deep valleys.

In making stupid mistakes,
In giving your best, yet again.
In memories of the past,
In dreams of the future.

In the pain of leaving someone,
In the thought of the journey ahead.
In the dry autumn,
In the fresh spring.

In the rush of the day,
In peaceful sleep at night.
In losing things you most treasured,
In finding people you'll never lose

Its in rejection,
Its in approval.
Its here, its there.
Its elusive, its everywhere.

Bitter-Sweet is this Life

Bitter-sweet is this life
I don't know where to go
I don't know what to decide

Circumstances lead my way
Sometimes they brought me comfort
Sometimes they lead me astray
I desire to dwell in the fondness of someone
Who fills that space with love, with conversation
No foe, no doubt, no question.

Bitter-sweet is this life
I don't know where to go
I don't know what to decide

Not everyting withers away with time
Those precious moments together
When I said that you are mine
That ear-to-ear grin
You used to listen to me
You understood everything

Bitter-sweet is this life
I don't know where to go
I don't know what to decide

I am tired of living with borrowed expression
Of futile scathing, of useless criticism,
No more calculated steps, no more discretion
I realise what I need to do
And I won't look for a reason
To say that I've found you

Bitter-sweet is this life
I don't know where to go
I don't know what to decide

At Gun Point

RECENTLY GMAN AND VANNY GOT INTO IN A FIGHT WITH EVIL TJAY. HE WAS DRUNK AND HAD TWO BODY GAURDS, ONE OF THEM WAS CARRYING A GUN.

Djay: You fools. I'll kill you right now.
Gman: You say sorry and I'll let you go.
Vanny: Sorry
Gman: I was not talking to you. I am talking to Tjay.

AT THIS MOMENT THE GUN MAN GOT HOLD OF GMAN.

Gman: Vanny, now is the right time for you to say sorry.

NOW I DON'T THINK WE NEED AN INTERLUDE HERE TO LAY A PLATFORM OF WHAT IS GOING TO HAPPEN NEXT.
SO LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, HERE WE GO...
FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER...
YOUR FRIENDLY NEIGHBOURHOOD GMAN WILL DISPLAY HIS "SUPERPOWERS".

Gaurd: ha ha ha ha ha...
Vanny: Boo hoo hoo...
Gun Man: He he he he he...
Djay: Hu hu hu hu hu... (Bad breath)
Gman: ....................................(the silence of the gman)

VANNY IS SURPRISED WHEN HE NOTICES THAT GMAN HAS NOT DONE ANYTHING YET. BUT THEN SUDDENLY...

Vanny: hey! gman you've peed in your pants
Djay: ha ha ha ha ha...
Gaurd: He he he he he...
Gun Man: Eww... that's disgusting
(runs away)

AHA!! LOOKS LIKE GMAN HAD A PLAN THERE. NOW THE BATTLE IS EVEN, 2 ON 2 AND NO GUNS.

Gman: Bingo
Vanny: Bravo gman... yay!!

VANNY BEATS UP TJAY AND HIS GAURD AND THE DAY IS SAVED THANKS TO YOUR FRIENDLY NEIGHBOURHOOD GMAN.

Gman: Thank you Vanny you saved my life.
Vanny: No, it was your quick wits that saved our lives. I would have never done that (he he he he he...)

A WEEK LATER.

ON PHONE...

Gman: Did I ever tell you how I saved Vanny's life from a group of armed gangsters?
Bjam: Yup... but tell me once more.
Gman: So here goes...
Bjam: Aww... I wish I was there.

AT THE SAME TIME ON THE OTHER LINE

Vanny: Did I ever tell you how gman peed in his pants?
Paddy: Yup... but tell me once more.
Vanny: So here goes...
Paddy: LOL... I wish I was there.

gap

Sorry for the gap between the posts. Its just that the goofy side of me has gone for a vacation, should be back soon.

I Called Her Again

She was walking down the corridor, when I called her name.
The night had not fallen yet but it was a dark and gloomy sky.
She was confused and yet amused,
Who is this who called me here?
Did I pass a face familiar?
She looked back but she didn't understand.
I walked up to her and I said Hi.
Do you remember me from the days gone by?

She sighed and she said;
"I have memories of you,
and I do have a sense of deja-vu.
But i cannot recollect who you are,
its must've been a long-long time,
many years must have passed by."
It started to rain as we spoke to each other.
Our words were concealed in the mystic thunder.

And at the end of it I said good bye to her;
"It was nice to see you once again.
I wish I had made better decisions back then.
Though life is not so bad without you
but I still loom back into the past
and wish that I did things that I was suppose to do."
She smiled and looked out the window
at the raindrops falling from the sky.

As the night passed by and she sat by my side,
Was this the moment? I had to decide.
Words were suddenly hard to come by as I began,
They were so unkind to me yet again.
Then she said, "I have to go."
For the rain has stopped now and the sky is bare.
Unbelievable I said to myself and laughed at my despair,
As I saw her walking down the lane,

I stood still and then...
I called her again.

Follow the Instructions

AFTER EVERY DATE GMAN DROPS BJAM TO HER HOME AND AS ALWAYS FORGETS HIS WAY OUT

Gman: Now, how do i get out of this place?
Bjam: Go down and take right after the building.
Gman: Which building?
Bjam: The 3rd one in the circle.
Gman: How will i know if its the correct 3rd building?
Bjam: There's only one 3rd building in the circle and if you see any other building 3rd building, it will be the wrong third building.
Gman: Look!! is there a way out of this jungle or not?
Bjam: okay, i'll come with you to show you the directions but you'll then have to drop me back here.
Gman: Dart!

Family Pressure

AT GMAN'S AGE THE ONLY TOPIC OF CONVERSATION BETWEEN GMAN AND HIS PARENTS IS HIS MARRIAGE.

Mom: I want to talk to you.
Gman: It wasn't me. I swear.
Mom: I wanted to talk about your marriage but first tell me what have you done now?
Gman: I meant, "Iee-twas-ant-me-iswe-ar" that's japanese mom. It means, "Yes please, go on, i am listening."
Mom: Anyway.
Gman: Phew.

USUALLY THE CONVERSATION STARTS WITH PARENTS ASKING GMAN ABOUT HIS FUTURE PLANS.

Dad: I think you've already messed up your life enough now get married and complete the process.
Mom: What!!
Dad: No! I mean "Nowge-tmar-ried-an-dcomp-lete-thep-roc-ess" that's japanese.
Mom: Shut up.

THIS CONVERSATION MOVES ON TO A HEALTHY DISCUSSION WHERE EVERY MEMBER OF THE FAMILY GETS TO PUT UP HIS VIEW POINT.

Mom: I want a sweet-homely-adorable girl.
Dad: She should be well educated.
Mom: And should be a good cook.
Dad: And should respect elders.
Mom: So it is done, gman will marry by this spring.
Gman: Does anybody care what i want?
Mom: Oh keep quiet, you are just a kid.

GMAN GOT HIS CHANCE AND HE MADE THE MOST OF IT...

Gman: Mom-dad, i've got big plans for my life. BIG!!
Dad: Like what?
Gman: Laa...aaa...e..e..i...k.aa..a getting marr...i..eeeid..

FINALLY, WHEN HIS PARENTS ARE GONE, GMAN INTROSPECTS...

Why can't i just marry, whats the problem with me?
I guess i am so career oriented?
Heck...
I think i am waiting for the "perfect girl".
Ha ha ha...
Am I gay?
Oh shoot... its been 25 years and i haven't been involved in a relationship with a single girl. WHOA MAY BE I AM GAY!!

Vanny and Paddy

VANNY IS IN LOVE WITH PADDY. THEY BOTH PLAN TO MARRY SOON, WITH EACH OTHER OF COURSE. AND OFTEN THEY ARE MAKING THEIR WEDDING PLANS.

Paddy: So this is what the wedding hall will look like.
Vanny: Wow!! How much time did you consume in making this?
Paddy: Just a few hours, but that’s not the topic of discussion here. You need to focus here vanny otherwise you’ll mess up.
Vanny: Huh!!
Paddy: So during the entire “operation holy matrimony” your code name will be “BEE” and I’ll be called “PDF”. Exactly at 1823 hrs you’ll have to sneak into the hall through the main entrance, remember no one should notice your presence.
ARE YOU WITH ME!!
Paddy: I’ll make a grand entry at 1845hrs and divert people’s attention. Any questions?
Vanny: Is this model made of themocole?
Paddy: This is once in a life time opportunity for you BEE. You mess this up and I’ll make you regret for the rest of your life.

AFTER A FEW HOURS OF METICULOUS PLANNING EVERY DETAIL IS LAYED DOWN

Vanny: So what is our wedding date PDF?
Paddy: Do you want me to cry?

technically genius...

OFTEN BJAM LANDS UP WITH SOME PROBLEM AND GMAN FIXES IT UP AND THEN BJAM IS ALL PRAISES FOR GMAN...

Gman: So I fixed up your car
Bjam: Wow! that’s great how did you do it?
Gman: Well I turned it on.
Bjam: Wow!! You are a genius.
Gman: Its no big deal
Bjam: Yeah, for a genius like you.
Gman: Nah! I am not that smart.
Bjam: So you are saying that I am dumb?
Gman: I didn’t say that...
Bjam: But you were thinking...
Gman: What... what the... I mean noo... That was not even in my mind.
Bjam: Oh shut up gman, you can’t just go about saying things and then say that you didn’t say it. I am upset gman.. I didn’t expect this from you...
Gman: I am sorry... I would never say anything like that again.
Bjam: You ought to be.

AFTER A FEW DAYS

Gman: My computer won’t work properly
Bjam: Did you try turning it on
Gman: Wow!! You are such a genious.
Bjam: I am and you are so dumb.

gman... an introduction

Early morning
6:30AM

GMAN IS A MORNING PERSON, BUT APPARENTLY HIS ROOMIE, VANNY ISN'T. HOWEVER GMAN'S ENERGY GIVES VANNY AN AMAZING START TO A BEAUTIFUL DAY, EVERYDAY.

Gman: ♫Morning is here...the morning is here...sunshine is here..daaaaaa morning is here...♫
Vanny: gmpf.. pumpf..
Gman: Great is the Lord, great is his creation ... Look at the beeeauuutiful morning sky, look at the trees, the brids ..Wow vanny...
Vanny: grrr...
Gman: I really thank God for the things he does...
!!FART!!
Vanny: Oh God!! why me? Why do you do this to me?

Drive to the office
9:00AM

GMAN LOVES TO DRIVE DOWN TO HIS OFFICE AND USUALLY HE DROPS VANNY ON THE WAY.

Gman: want me to drop you to your office?
Vanny: Lord! No.
Gman: com’on we’ll take the highway. Nothing goes wrong there.
Vanny: I wish I was dead already.

AT THE APARTMENT PARKING

Gman: did you bring the car keys?
Vanny: it’s your car!

GMAN GOES BACK TO THE APARTMENT AND GETS THE KEYS

Gman: did I tell you that we need to go to the gas station first?
Vanny: No, but I assumed that we need.
Vroom...
Gman: ♫ dooo-daa-dee-dee-lee-paa-poo-poo ♫

LOUD NOISE AND A TIRE GO FLAT

Vanny: the tire is flat!
Gman: so should we get regular or extra premium?
Vanny: Your tire has gone flat!
Gman: Bjam is giving me a hard time these days. It’s becoming as hard as steering this stupid wheel.
Vanny: Gman! Have I ever told you that you are mentally handicap?
Gman: hmm... never thought of myself that way. Pretty cool huh!!

AT THE PETROL PUMP. WHILE GMAN WENT TO THE ATM TO GET SOME CASH, VANNY GOT THE FLAT TIRE REPLACED. GMAN DROPS VANNY AND REACHED OFFICE

to be continued...

sharing is good

LATELY, GMAN HAS BEEN SPENDING A LOT OF TIME WITH BJAM. THIS HAS PARTICULARLY RESULTED IN SHARING OF PROBLEMS...

Gman: I have bad news.
Bjam: about me?
Gman: no, its about me.
Bjam: phew, good! For a second I was concerned.

BJAM PAYS CAREFUL ATTENTION TO DETAILS AND TRIES TO GIVE GMAN A CLEAR PERSPECTIVE ON THINGS...

Gman: I got a call from my company.
Bjam: did they fire you?
Gman: NO!! they offered me a job in another country.
Bjam: so they don’t need you here anymore and they actually fired you?
Gman: NOOOOO!!! They offered me a better opportunity.
Bjam: you see, gman!! Ignoring the problem won’t make it go away.

BJAM OFTEN EMPATHISES WITH GMAN AND LETS HIM KNOW THAT BJAM IS ALWAYS THERE FOR HIM, COME WHAT MAY!!

Gman: I am sad because I won’t be seeing you again.
Bjam: did you say sad or glad?

AND FINALLY, GMAN FEELS GOOD AFTER HIS CONVERSATIONS WITH BJAM...

Bjam: so you are saying that your company is giving you a “better opportunity” and that you will have to go and leave your “good friends”.
Gman: yes.
Bjam: and this makes you sad?
Gman: It did, before I had this conversation.
Bjam: I am really happy that I could help you.

Japan... here I come!

I am fairly certain that things don't just happen. At least not in my case. Japan happened because of a perfect series of events, viz:

1. My resignation(from my current job),
2. My boss's resignation,
3. My current employer offers Indonesia and
4. A person who just happened to be my advisor that very day because my closest friend was at home due to some emergency.

I can assure you that if any "one" of these things would not have taken place in the order that they did, Japan would'nt have happened.

Consider these scenarios:

Scenario#1: Only event 1 had occurred.
Outcome: I would've been in Gurgaon with a new job.

Scenario#2: Event 1 followed by event 2.
Outcome: I would've been in in Gurgaon with a new job.

Scenario#3: Event 1 followed by event 2 and then event 3.
Outcome: I would've been in Indonesia

Scenario#4: Event 1 followed by event 2 then event 3 and finally event 4
Outcome: You know the outcome, don't you?

So, Japan... here I come.

Hold on...

I remember the day I scored exceedingly well in my 10th board exams and was offered science in my school, Yay!!

But hold on, getting into science isn’t what I wanted to achieve, class 11 and 12 is a tough battle in itself and I want to get into an IIT or a medical school to be labeled successful. So I started slogging in class 11 and continued in class 12 as well, without much success, with modest scores in board exams and unable to clear any entrance exams that year I was labeled a failure! But I did not loose hope and decided to keep on slogging. Two more years it took for me to clear an engineering entrance exam and get into a reputed engineering college, Yay!!

But hold on, there’s no guarantee that this reputed college will propel me to success. I still need to work hard and score well to get a job. So I started working towards this goal, to get a job i.e., and eventually towards the completion of my 4 year long degree I had not one but two jobs. Yay!!

But hold on, getting into a job right after I complete my graduation isn’t what success is. I need to work hard and prove that I am the best here. So I started slogging again sitting late in the nights, right from my initial days when other new campus joinees were making merry at their homes. Another year passed by and I was awarded the best new campus joinee and was rated outstanding. Yay!!

But hold on, one successful year isn’t enough. I need lots more. So another year of hard work began and this time I slogged even harder. I got new businesses for the company and am now going to a foreign land to establish its base there. Yay!!

But hold on...

I say never be complete, I say stop being perfect

this may kinda contradict what i've said earlier (depends on your perspective actually)


Well you see i’ve always wanted perfect things..

But i've learned something and I’ve learned this the hard way, Life is all about not knowing, having to change (all the time). Life’s about ceasing that one moment and making the best of it. Without knowing what is going to happen next. That the essence of life, meaningless and out of control, I mean the big picture is never-ever clear! Koi kare toh kya kare?

Atleast its out of my control.

All we can do is: do what the moment asks us to do and then hope for the best.

Love that was never meant to be

One of my critical observation about relationships is that they if they aren't natural you can't sustain them. I mean you cannot impose a relationship on to someone, atleast not for very long. Consider the follwing scenario

You meet someone,
You liked what you saw,
You went out,
You were a little disappointed but you give the benefit of doubt, coz it was the first time and people need time to open up.
You start calling, sms’ing and meet more often….

And then comes the promises... blah blah.. and we start thinking that we are in "love"

(com'on.. what's going on.. why's everyone falling in love)

six months back a couple moved in next door Apoorva and Nisha, both in TCS, just 10 minutes of friendly chit-chat and it was clear that its a love marriage. Every thing then looked fine, rosy, but now?

The guy is always on the tv and the girl, well i haven't seen her for a while.. I think she's gone, back home. I didn't really bother to get into the details, i mean why should i, anyway?


All i want to say here is-

Do we fall in love with the concept of love instead of actually falling in love with the other person?

i want to ask a question here before i end this:
How many of us during a date, or after it, cannot wait to go back and tell our friends about this person we just dated. No matter how awful the date was.

I think that's the litmus test of our relationship.